Today, I sing the praises of the primary function of the Internet.

The Wasting of Time.

It's sad but true. To think of the noble purpose for which Al Gore created the Internet (whose creation alone is enough to illustrate why he will never become President), and then to think of the use which we its denizens have occupied ourselves putting it to! Oh, the fun we have had sitting here, staring at our screens, typing nonsense for the world to enjoy. All you need is a modem and you too can have endless fun doing Not Very Much when you could be doing something marginally constructive.

To this end, I present to you a list, in no particular order, of the Top Ten Magnificent Seven Sites which I feel have been responsible for utterly wasting my time when I could have been spending it on something far more productive, like picking lint from my pockets or staring into space, or actually, you know, writing something in recent months.

• Live Journal

Well, just LOOK at it. Look at what Live Journal has done to me! That said, I find this site far, far too fun to want to stop posting. Besides, I absolutely love my flist and their multiple internet presences. I'm inordinately grateful that I possess an LJ account, because it's cheap enjoyment from the comfort of my own home and provides me with a Ranting Outlet, but it's probably the Biggest Time Waster in the World Ever.


• Candybar

Otherwise known as That Damned Korean Doll Site. It's pink and cute and oh it's like CRACK. Crack of the very highest order. Every so often I find myself going back there and making dolls for hours and hours, for the sheer hell of it. I've fallen into the trap of trying to 'recreate' my (multiple) OCs and their (very strange) clothing tastes using these dolls, and the more I do it the worse things become. This site scares me.


• Fanfiction.net

The place where fangirls go to die. I cannot believe how much time I spend on this site. Reading Mary Sue fiction, no less. Considering the nature of fanfiction, this thing wastes an inordinate amount of my time too, both on- and offline. But I love it, I love it so much even though it's insane and eighty percent of the work there is unreadable. It's still my spiritaiual home... which says a lot about my poor, abused spirit.


• Clone Army

Do not, for the love of God do NOT visit this site if you are of an even remotely sensitive disposition. I'm not kidding. Don't do it. Thank you. Not only is the time-wasting potential of this site immense (I spend a fair amount of time just staring at the forums) I hesitate to recommend it to anybody at all nice. Yes, folks, this is my favorite web comic site, run by an artist who is both exceptionally talented and extremely sick.


• Something Awful

Something Awful's philosophy is 'The Internet Makes You Stupid'. I second that. I can feel my brain atrophying even as I type (duh... what does 'atrophy' mean?). That said, though, this site Does Not Help, for all it pours scorn on every Internet subculture out there. I have this site to blame for introducing me to the sad, sick world of the Furries, and for that reason alone I cannot wholeheartedly recommend it to anybody.


• Gaia Online

Describes itself as 'an anime roleplaying community' which says it all. The time-wasting trick employed by these forums is that its members earn 'gold' for posting with which they buy virtual clothes and accessories for their ludicrously cute avatars. Neat trick. I haven't been there for ages, largely because this site addicts and eats time in a way even Live Journal can't manage. It's horribly insidious. Stay away. Really.


• Rotten Tomatoes

The reading of lousy film reviews make me a happy obsessive Ken Hidaka fangirl, ergo I visit this site, which collates links to reviews of pretty much every film on general release out there. I like the clunkers the best. You wouldn't believe how much fun I had with the reviews for Battlefield Earth. I know, it's a relatively old film, but the bad reviews... oh, the bad reviews! How they made me smile.

There's more.

Lots more.

For example, I read a whole slew of web comics (some more from habit than because I'm really that bothered about them any more), a handful of movie review sites, a serious site on why Scientology is an dangerous cult and the church hierarchy deserves to have their heads metaphorically kicked in. I read current affairs sites, the occasional intriguing headline on MSN, stupid comedy sites, lame forums, god knows how many Weiss Kreuz websites... the list continues. But if I listed all the sites that killed my free time, I really would be here all night. I don't have all night. I've got other things to waste my time on, dammit!

Comments now. Whee. Wasting time, thou art my friend.