Okay, Weiss Kreuz fandom? It's been a while, but I guess you knew it was too good to last, huh? Come over here. No, over here. Sit down. There, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Right. We need to talk.

Specifically, we need to talk about Aya and Ken, and where the Hell that came from. And no, I do not mean that Aya. The other Aya. The original one, who-- oh, to hell with it, have a handy visual aid.



Clear? Great. Let's move on.

That Aya and Ken. Not a popular pairing - probably because it doesn't involve Teh Ghey - but as far as Weiss Kreuz het ships go, it's pretty damn popular all the same. And - and this is my problem with it - it makes no sense. Absolutely none.

It's one of those pairings which seems to happen simply because he's there and she's there, and she's pretty and he's like totally straight (really, he was just good friends with Kase, nothing dubious about Kenken at all) - why shouldn't they hook up? Does it matter that they barely interact and probably wouldn't have that much to say to one another if they did? They look so cute together! And they're both average looking and both have dark hair and are about the same age so yeah, they totally want each other.

( Only, you know, they totally don't. )

What, too, are Ken and Aya supposed to see in one another?

I will admit that Ken and Aya might, if they met, get on. Aya, from what little we know of her, does have characteristics in common with the kind of girls Ken usually takes an interest in: she's friendly, good-natured and has, or so we are told, a strong personality. She, like Ken, is ambitious. That said, though, Aya appears to be at heart a dainty, distinctly feminine girl. Ken likes active tomboys.

Do they have common interests? I'm inclined to doubt it. We don't know enough about Aya to know what her interests are, but if they don't stretch to soccer and struggling to cook she isn't going to get much fun out of Ken.

Even without that, there's simply too much baggage. There are too many other factors to consider. It's not just a matter of eyes meeting and nature taking its course. Ken has every reason to hold back and isn't particularly good at relationships anyway: Aya might well consider Ken a perfectly nice boy but not relationship material. On top of everything else, there's social class to consider...

And Aya never meets him.

So, let's recap. Ken and Aya are not relationship material because...

• They have very little in common.
  
• Consequently, they have precisely zero chemistry.
  
• Even if they did hook up, Big Brother would be Watching Them.
  
• Ken is an assassin and would not want to endanger Aya.
  
• Ken never interacts with Aya in any significant manner.
  
• Not only that, he barely notices her.
  
• Aya never meets Ken, ever.
  
• They have no plausible way to meet up, ever.
  
• Aya is not Ken's Plan B and should not be treated as such.
  
• Pairing Ken and Aya up because they're both single is stupid.
  
• Pairing Ken and Aya up to get them out the way is stupider.
  

The sad thing is if the fandom could just get it into their heads that they do not need to pair up everybody in the cast, really, then this pairing would barely even exist. As I mentioned, very, very few people seriously ship these two. They're a background pairing. Ken falls for Aya because she's there and they're both so ordinary and boring nobody else will want them: they might as well quietly hook up then get the fuck out of the way and leave the plot, and all the real relationships, to the pretty people.

It doesn't really matter to most of these ficcers if pairing Ken and Aya makes no sense, just as long as it keeps them neatly sidelined. Why should they care how it happens just as long as Ran's free to hook up with Youji without having to worry too much about the boring little sister, or the equally boring teammate who Youji, inconveniently, actually likes - and likes rather better than Ran, too.

Too bad Ken Hidaka makes a ridiculous Token Straight Guy.