Oh. Oh, dear.

You'll have to forgive me a moment.

How do you cope with boys like Ken Hidaka?
How do you make him sit down and shut up?
We're pretty sure he means well
But living with him is Hell...

Yup. Of all the crack!fic plotbunnies I could have done without, the bunny that came bearing the idea of a Weiss Kreuz/The Sound of Music crossover fic just has to be one of the biggest and the best.

I haven't even seen The Sound of Music anything more than piecemeal. I saw the first half (I think) with my parents many, many moons ago, and I saw flashes of it during one of my recent shifts, it being Bank Holiday Monday and innocuous TV being very much the order of the day. All I really took away from it was that the movie involves singing nuns marrying unfathomably rich men, an annoying litter of sprogs of varying ages and some rather pastede on yey subplot about escaping the Nazis by climbing ev'ry mountain to Switzerland. That's it.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye,
My uncle Persia thinks you need to die...

I saw it at work and was quite prepared never to think of it again.

So long, farewell, and words that mean the same
You'll pay for this; I'll kill you with my brain.

And then I got home one night and realized I was giggling my head off over the thought of Aya Von Fujimiya being reluctantly charmed by Ken's relentless hyperactive perkiness and ability to keep Ömi (sixteen going on seventeen) out of his hair for five minutes by teaching him flower arranging whilst Crawford and Schuldich busy themselves annexing Austria and Youji... I couldn't decide about Youji but whatever he was going to do it would have to be damned hilarious. And then, of course, there'd be Ruth the Mother Superior and Persia Von Trapp as everyone's uncle.

Aya would definitely be Captain Von Trapp, though, just because the romance angle would work almost as well as a parody of everything that was wrong with fluffy RanKen fiction as of Weiss Kreuz. Or The Sound of Music, for that matter.

Worying enough already even before I realized I was amusing myself by quietly rewriting chunks of the songs.

Killing off bad guys on clandestine missions,
Idiot codenames that only suit kittens,
Crazy old bastards with ludicrous plans,
These are the things that I really can't stand...

I have the horrible feeling that someone needs to write this.

But it doesn't need to be me.

This post was written a while back and has now been appropriately backdated for Great Justice. Proof? Check out the icon.