Dear Terrorists;

Fuck You.

Fuck you all viciously. Sideways.

If you think this is going to work you are sadly mistaken. You are not going to stop me from traveling to and from work on whatever mode of transport I bloody well want to, you are not going to stop me going about my life with a smile on my face and my head in the clouds, and you are most definitely not going to force me out of this city. I love this city. The fact that you don't is neither here nor there.

Really. Fuck you. If you don't like it here you can bloody well piss off and find somewhere more to your liking. Nobody's making you live in England. If you don't like it, tough. It'll take more than your bombs to make us change.

You don't frighten us, terrorist pig-dogs. Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person.

If this is you again, Al-Qaeda, there are plenty of places in the world where you can have your goddamn Islamic state. Fine. Go to it. But leave the English in general and London in particular alone. We're quite happy secular, thank you, and the more buses and tubes you blow up the more convinced you'll make this particular individual that the last thing they'll be thinking about doing is converting.

You are not martyrs. You are not representatives of your faith and you most certainly do not speak for every single member of your community, whatever that may turn out to be. You are not righteously justified. What you are is criminals, lunatics and bastards. You are committing criminal acts and when we find you you are going to be treated as criminals. I fart in your general direction.

Fuck you, terrorists. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Presuming this is Al-Qaeda again, or some related organization... I don't care what you people, you terrorists, happen to believe in, whether it's God, Buddha, Krishna, Allah, the Angel Moroni, Reverend Moon, L. Ron Hubbard or Zebedee from the freaking Magic Roundabout, because it doesn't matter. It doesn't stop you from being terrorists. But as far as I'm concerned you can worship who you damn well want, I really don't give a shit. It's your business, not mine. Now extend me the same favor, thank you. Just because I choose to go out in public with my hair uncovered does not make me worthy of a bomb in the face. You people have the brain of a duck, you know. Leave me alone.

Last time you pulled this shit with my city, two weeks ago today mark you, I was frightened, sad, shaken. This time, none of those things apply. What I am today is pissy. No, I wan't out today, again. No, I won't be going out tomorrow - but that's because I'm not actually rostered to goddamn well work tomorrow. Once again, though, I am working this weekend and you people are not going to keep me from it.

I apologize for the puerile, pissy tone to this update but you people, you terrorists, forced me to it. Stop blowing up our city or it's no more Miss Nice Live Journaler.

Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!