Do you, my invisible reader, ever feel bad about what you put canon characters through while writing fanfics?
I do. I suspect it is not entirely sane of me to do so, but I do anyway. Therefore, in a spirit of Lenten repentence, I have decided that I am long overdue to issue an Official Standing Apology to the Weiss boys for damn near everything I have ever written, ever, since I first put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) as regards this particular fandom. Consider this post a public apology for the depredations I have visited, and no doubt will continue to visit, on this innocent team of highly trained schizoid assassins in the course of fulfilling my fangirl duties.
(Also, I saw
cards_slash's post about the Official Standing Apology to Bo Duke, and I thought it looked kind of fun, so I decided I wanted in on that. Besides, if Bo deserves an apology for getting hot ass-sex with his cousin and his hot ass, I think Ken definitely deserves one for - well, for just about everything, including the red Chinese dress and possibly the banana milk.)
Therefore, I would like to apologize...
... to Aya Fujimiya, for:
... to Youji Kudou, for:
... to Ken Hidaka, for:
... to Omi Tsukiyono, for:
I am, however, not about to apologize for my status as Shameless Youji X Ken Slashfic Propagandist for the very simple reason that all I'm doing is working with the material I've been given. Maybe if you guys didn't bicker about the stupidest crap like a married coupleand weren't obviously at it behind the others' backs, I would apologze but honestly, boys - there comes a point at which it is no longer subtext. When girls without slash goggles and straight men think you're Secretly A Couple, you have to be doing something to provoke that.
I do. I suspect it is not entirely sane of me to do so, but I do anyway. Therefore, in a spirit of Lenten repentence, I have decided that I am long overdue to issue an Official Standing Apology to the Weiss boys for damn near everything I have ever written, ever, since I first put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) as regards this particular fandom. Consider this post a public apology for the depredations I have visited, and no doubt will continue to visit, on this innocent team of highly trained schizoid assassins in the course of fulfilling my fangirl duties.
(Also, I saw
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Therefore, I would like to apologize...
... to Aya Fujimiya, for:
- Largely ignoring you and all your redheaded mangodliness because you're such a bitch to write for.
... to Youji Kudou, for:
- Letting Ken steal your coat.
- Automatically assuming your heterosexual self is not averse to sampling the delights of situational ghey.
- Having Ken discover that you write your name in your underpants.
- Getting, for the purposes of parody, your ass pinched on the subway. In front of Ken.
- Constantly making you drag Ken's bloodied, semi-conscious and probably precariously-clad body back from wherever the Hell he's decided to collapse this time.
- Dragooning you into providing the 'comfort' side of the hurt/comfort equation by writing you into scenes featuring copious amounts of hand-holding, hugging, and tearful angst.
- Using Asuka to justify writing you into slash pairings. (Well, one slash pairing.)
- Making you forget the lube that one time.
- Failing to have written you into any threesomes with a pair of hot blonde co-eds.
... to Ken Hidaka, for:
- Deciding that 'Kenken' is an utterly adorable nickname and your irritation over it even more so.
- Automatically assuming your conflicted feelings over Kase translate into 'you'd do him in a heartbeat if only he let you' or, in extreme cases, to 'you guys were totally at it.'
- Thinking you're pretty tied up.
- Deciding, after many years agonizing over your musical tastes, that what you really like to listen to is ridiculously upbeat J-pop.
- Using your impulsiveness, your quick temper and your sometimes frankly suicidal loyalty to your friends to get you into horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad situations you only escape from at obscene personal cost.
- Using, in fact, just about everything about you as an excuse to torment you horribly at one point or another.
- Thinking you look good on Schuldig.
- And on General Powell.
- And just about everybody else.
- Using your status as Weiss's Official Damage Magnet to get you into twice as much trouble as any of your teammates in about half the time, and possibly abducted and/or bleeding and/or unconscious to boot.
- Forcing, in keeping with the spirit of the Weiss Kreuz anime, you to dress up in drag on the flimsiest pretexts imaginable.
- And deciding you are curiously attractive to middle-aged men while so doing.
- Making you do all the cooking.
- Constantly, in spite of the fact that you could probably kick the ass of just about every other male character in the series in a fair fight, making you bottom in bed.
- To the extent that you bottom to Omi.
- Almost never letting you have enjoyable consensual sex.
... to Omi Tsukiyono, for:
- Making you do almost all the work.
- Paying attention to the bad fanon about Leader!Aya back when I thought everyone else knew something I didn't.
- Absolutely everything that has happened or will happen during the writing of Acts and Omissions.
- Deciding you're not totally averse to kink.
I am, however, not about to apologize for my status as Shameless Youji X Ken Slashfic Propagandist for the very simple reason that all I'm doing is working with the material I've been given. Maybe if you guys didn't bicker about the stupidest crap like a married couple
Current Mood:
... you're daft, laila

Current Music: november rain - guns n' roses
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