Ugh.

Horrible meeting at the welfare office in just under one and a half hours, to discuss my progress as regards my job hunt.

I only started making progress about a week ago.

What the Hell am I supposed to say about this? I've been looking for jobs in the fields I wanted to go into for months. I couldn't even find listings for vacancies in bookstores (where the Hell do they advertise? I've looked in the papers, I've looked online on the job sites and on the web pages of chain bookstores, I've looked in shop windows... I DON'T KNOW) and all the rest of it was asking for experience I don't have or qualifications I haven't got - read: college degree - or, in a number of cases, for both. Dispiriting? Just a bit.

I'm so used to thinking of nursing college as three wasted years that I only realized it also meant I had three years' experience of the NHS and working in a medical setting to call upon LAST MONDAY.

I'm scared. I really want to work, but how the Hell can I prove it?

I wish I had the money to go back to college.

... well, I do have a tendency to fret over not much at all.

Meeting went fine, actually, though I did arrive what must have been monstrously early. Perhaps it was a good thing when the receptionist had a queue of people to work through, one of whom spoke very little English, the second of whom didn't seem to understand that she could not give him an earlier appointment as regards a crisis loan, and she wasn't the person to talk to, she was just the receptionist. All I wanted to do was tell her I was here for my appointment, could she tell me where to wait please.

(My first thought on witnessing these massive acts of miscommunication: Remind me again why I'm applying for all these positions in medical reception. My second thought: Because you need a job, you dumbass.)

Still, I guess arriving early is a good habit to get into - something else my nursing training was good for, as it's made me an absolute freak about punctuality.

Anyway, I leveled with my adviser - who, needless to say, was not the adviser the meeting had been booked with, ho hum - about the problems I'd had working out what kind of jobs I might be able to apply for, but that I was now looking for admin/clerical work in the NHS. She was, of course, very nice about it and did not give me the in-depth grilling I had feared - yet which I will, if I keep up the momentum I have been maintaining over the past week or so, be quite prepared to face next time. Of course, I am hoping there won't be a next time, because by then I'll have a freaking job.

So that appears to be over, my claim appears to still be active, the woman at the welfare agency thinks that I have the right positive attitude as regards my job hunt(!) - now all I need is an interview.

And a shower.

Applied for two more vacancies today. Someone shortlist me, please.