Hey, fic-writing fankids?

Have you heard of this really cool and exciting profession that's out there? It's called 'Medicine' and the people who practice it are called 'Doctors'! Doctors are really interesting people. They're for the most part intelligent, dedicated folk who've devoted their lives to the study and practice of Medicine. They go to special places called colleges and study for years so they can spend their lives helping to heal the sick and the wounded.

Also, there are these really amazing places known as 'Hospitals'. Hospitals are really cool too. They're special places that we can take the sick and injured to so that they can get the best possible care in an environment dedicated to tending to their needs. In fact, we don't even have to take them down there! If the person who needs treatment is hurt badly enough, we can call a special number and a big white vehicle with a siren and flashing blue lights on top will come and pick them up. This is called an Ambulance. Lots of doctors work in hospitals. These doctors specialize in treating all kinds of different injuries and illnesses. They're helped by lots of other people who do equally valuable and interesting jobs, like Nurses and Physiotherapists and Radiographers...

... what, you've heard of the medical profession? You already know all about doctors and nurses and hospitals?

Then why the Hell do you keep having regular characters find your shiny Mary Sues lying injured in gutters or an alleyway and take them home to nurse them back to health? Why, when they could just call them an ambulance, like they would for any other human being in the same situation, and get them the expert help and attention they need courtesy of a qualified, experienced professional, not a well-meaning amateur?

I'm quite prepared to believe this is just my fandom, where the canon characters at least have the excuse of being used to dealing with nasty injuries and a fairly good excuse as to why they might be rather reluctant to go to a hospital - even if they wouldn't immediately assume that a random injured stranger couldn't be taken to a hospital and certainly wouldn't drag strangers home with them anyway, no matter how cute they were - but I have a horrible feeling that it isn't. It's just too convenient a Meet Cute.

Are hospitals really so expensive and overcrowded that Mary Sue couldn't possibly be expected to stoop to that for her medical emergency? Or is this all part of some evil conspiracy to put the health service as we know it out of business entirely? I think we need to be told these things.

This PSA was brought to you by the Association of Fanfic Medical Professionals.