Here's something else that could only happen to me.

Back story: I have a cupboard in my landlady's kitchen in which I store my food. I sometimes keep large bags or cartons of stuff on top of it, because they won't fit conveniently in my cupboard. My landlady also keeps a plant up there. I think it's a spider plant. Or she kept one up there anyway.

Yu can guess where this is going already, can't you? I reach for the thing I've got up there, knock the plant in the process, plant comes flying off the top of the cupboard, I manage to arrest the plant's fall with my head but can't do much about the pot, which bangs me on the cheek, knocks my glasses flying and lands on the kitchen floor, where it proceeds to break into several rather unsightly pieces.

With 20:20 hindsight, the big surprise isn't that this happened now but that it hadn't happened before.

List of Damages:

• One broken ceramic plant pot.


• Several hundred plaster shards all over the kitchen floor.


• One very large scratch on the lens of my glasses.


• Two rather nasty bruises. On my face.


• One horrible nagging tiny cut on my wrist.

Add to that a loud crash in the still of the night and earth everywhere and you have a situation I could have happily lived the rest of my days without ever experiencing. Getting a flying plant in the face, though it's something I'd quite happily write into a fanfiction for a certain series which just so happens to involve regular mention of small plants in heavy pots, really isn't something one needs to experience to be able to write about. Or would want to, for that matter.

My face will heal, but I'm pretty pissed about my glasses. That scratch is making me feel bleary-eyed, and I definitely can't afford to get these things replaced. Obviously I'll have to take them to the optician's and see if there's anything they can do to alleviate the situation somewhat, but since I'm not expecting that there will be anything that can be done before I have to head off on placement it can wait until the next time I have to go out. All I can say is thank God I still have my old glasses knocking about the place. They're scratched too, but the scratch in question? Nothing compared to the one I inflicted on my new pair. Gah.

Still, it's not exactly like there's anything I can do about it now I've cleared up the mess.

And, proof positive that I need mental help am far too interested in fanfic for my own good: within about three minutes I was wondering if I actually could get something like this into a story. Because if this can happen to me, it can absolutely definitely happen to Ken. At least he'll do it amusingly.