... but I honestly can't work out what the point of those color bars that pop up everywhere at the moment is. Maybe they're some kind of Great Web Code to which everybody but me knows the answers. Very strange.

Seriously, what are those things? What do they do? Are they just there to look pretty or something? Do different fan groups have their own banners? Do they mean something? Should I make one and see what happens, or would that be stupid? if anyone out there knows what these things are actually for please send your answers on a postcard to anybody but me. Why am I thinking so hard about this? I guess it's the lack of placement I am experiencing at the moment. I'm on a kind-of brief holiday (well, I have about a day and a half of it left) and because I've got nothing at all to do my brain power is going rapidly downhill. Ergo I have started to ponder the meaning of color bars. I wonder who invented them?

... hm, maybe it's a kind of Da Vinci Code on the Internet. Or maybe not, since The Da Vinci Code sucks and I can't believe my mother enjoyed it given that she's an English teacher. But she has been known to dabble in Dick Francis and Wilbur Smith from time to time so I shouldn't be surprised. Wilbur Smith?

Damn you, holiday reading.

Everybody but me has a life! Whoo.

I've been on a drawing kick recently. Sadly, this hasn't coincided with my magically developing any kind of, you know, actual artistic talent so for the past few nights I have been sitting round happily ruining good paper and producing nothing worth showing anybody. There's nothing there that I'd actually wish anybody else to see. So all in all it was a bit of a waste of time, really. I had fun but while I still really can't draw properly fun is about all I'll get out of it.

And random bad pictures of Ken of course,

The annoying thing about it though is that I really want to be writing. I have a lot of ideas for Chapter 21. Loads. And I've yet to make a start on it, which seems a bit stupid if you ask me. I've gotten used to writing on the bus. Look, laila, you silly cow, you do not have to be on the bus in order to write something. That would be a damn bad habit to get into, to say nothing of an expensive one. And a boring one. Only writing on London buses? Blah, forgive me if I pass on that one. London buses are horrible places to write, I only started doing it because I have to spend so long on them on a daily basis that I figured I might as well do something with that time. I didn't want it to become something I had to do in order to get anything productive done at all, you know, brain!

I hate wanting to be creative and doing nothing but vegetate. I hate being bored. I hate the fact that vacuuming my room yesterday actually felt like an achievement (well, it was. I loathe vacuuming). Maybe the problem is it's high summer? High summer really gets me down. I don't like this time of year at all, I'm afraid to say, and will be happy when it gets a bit cooler. I want it to be autumn. Now now now. Please. It's too hot and everything's slowing down and I hate it.

Why am I posting this pointless... thing? Well, why not? It's not like I actually have a life or anything better to be doing with my time.

Yeesh. I have a horrible feeling this post is starting to sound really whiny and self-indulgent. Okay, most LJ posts out there sound like that, but that doesn't mean we as users should be encouraging that sort of thing. I'm not in high school any more. In fact, what with living in England I never went to high school. I'm too old to end up in the Adolescent Angst Pit again, worrying about my weight and whether the totally fitt guy in pre-cal will like ever look at someone like me ever. Carry on in this direction and I will end up not only depressing myself but in some kind of stereotypical Emo Funk. I might even start writing horrible poetry containing words like 'blood', 'solitude', 'ravage', 'blade', and 'despair'. I mean, I suck at poetry. Even when I was a self-indulgent teenager I knew I sucked at poetry.

Hooray for being fourteen and knowing you're writing total crap. I used to hate writing poems in class because I knew my poetry was shit. Most of the rest of the class could produce something, but knowing you're producing a pageful of whiny, unadulterated crap kind of takes the edge off the endeavor. If only more fourteen year olds out there were aware of this, we might be spared bad fic and worse quasi-Gothic poetry filled with all the above words. I blame Edgar Allan Poe for making it all look easy, I really do.

Mission statement: No matter how depressed I get I will never write Goth Poetry. Ever.

Must cheer self up and get out of totally pointless pit of undeserving angst. Hm. I wonder what I should do. Well, there's food for a start, food is always good, and then there's random thoughts in the key of Ken, that'd be a good one too, but there's got to be something else I can do to get myself out of this stupor...

I know! MSTs!