Whoopee. Another minor case of 'Seuche'-brand writer's block just for me. I know what I'm doing, I know where I'm going, I just can't make myself do it. Ken's being a bitch. Literally. He just yelled at Omi and is now matching glares with Aya and feeling homicidally upset. This is bad because they're about to start a mission and don't need to be at one another's throats.

This fanfic still has the potential to surprise me.

Still, I'm blocked. I know what I want to write, I just don't know how to write it. Perhaps part of the problem is that part of my brain - a very large part - is screaming at me that what it really wants to be trying to do is carry on with the story arc I started in 'Proximity'. I seem to have not one but two sequels nagging at me at the moment, both containing varying degrees of shounen-ai specificness. Simply put, said large part of my brain has decided that it would far rather I used it in order to write a sex scene. A Youji x Ken sex scene, no less. I doubt it'd be that explicit (in fact, knowing me and my coyness it would barely be explicit at all), but that's what my brain wants to do and oh boy is it ever nagging me about it.

For obvious reasons, this desire won't help me to finish Chapter 19 of 'Seuche'. Annoying, because I want to write this chapter. I have angst and Character Death planned and really want to get to it. Damn my Youji x Ken fixation, and my lack of related yaoi fanfics to sate my desires! Damn my smut-filled brain!

I'm worried by my head. It's being very specifically ecchi. It's dead set on this sex scene. I have the set-up for said sex scene. I know exactly how I'd lead into it and why (the fic wants to open on an argument. A very intense argument). I know where I'd set it. I even know how the characters are damn well dressed. In fact, I've got pretty much an entire yaoi fanfic playing out in my head at the moment and maybe all I can do is go with the flow and get the damn thing out.

The problem is, this fanfic would have to be the third of the fics in this story arc, because it has the sex scene in it. I have a few good ideas for the second fic as well - I've got a title, setting and a few decent angles for it too - but that wouldn't let me write a sex scene, so it's been kind of pushed aside for the sake of imagining the angles for this third fic. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I'll have to write the things out of order. Get this yaoi fic done and dusted and then just hold back on posting it until after I've finished fic #2 and maybe revised it in in the wake of what the second one goes and does.

I have the feeling, though, that I won't get any peace from my yaoi visions until I've written this fic, in much the same way as 'A step forward into night' distracted me with death. I may try and fight it. On the other hand, tomorrow may see me sat in front of my computer writing gay anime pr0n.

We shall see.

... in related news, I joined this wk_fiction community thing because one of the fics on it was good. Half inclined to try and relentlessly pimp 'Seuche' and related works to death on it, since everyone else seems to do it. Here, though, we run into another problem which is that deep down I'm rather shy and I'm worried people will hate it - and that chapter 13 (14, really) is a bit too late to start promoting a long, angst-ridden fanfic on an LJ community. I do want more people to read the thing, though... Oh well... *dithers* maybe I will think about it next time I post a chapter. Maybe. Though I suspect I'm more likely to wimp out completely and just think about doing it. Oh well. Once again, We Shall See.

Oh. When I logged on to MSN I found out the Pope died. So that's what I was doing when I found out - trying to check my email. I'm not a Catholic, so I'm not going to pretend this makes a lot of difference to me one way or another, but I feel sorry for him. I wouldn't have wished septic shock and kidney failure on anyone, from what I've heard about both in college. Poor guy.

I suppose this means that, for all my yaoi brain and Weiss fixation, I'm not totally detatched from reality after all...