I mentioned in my last entry that the Sues were multiplying. Well, god damn it but they've only gone and done it again.

You see, Rain's backstory - masterpiece of ridiculous Sue-centric TL;DR that it is - has now grown an offshoot where Rain, after her first teammate gets killed in laughable Rain-centric circumstances, finds herself leading a cutesy all-Sue Weiss-clone ripoff team who are record store clerks by day and leet assassins of leetness (with bolted-on psychic powers, of course) by night. Naturally, to ramp up the Sue-angst still more, they all die horribly and pointlessly before the story starts when the Ken-clone fucks something up BECAUSE YOU KNOW KEN IS LIKE RECKLESS AND STUPID AND SUCKS SO THERE.

Rain, of course, casts herself as resident Female!Aya and - in the ways of bad fanon - as the team leader. The other three would be female clones of the bad-fanon versions of Youji, Ken and Omi, in pretty much that order, only without any of the genuine individuality the original versions possess.

And, as the order of the game was obscene unoriginality, that meant more Candybar dolls, because you can't get much more cookie-cutter than that without involving an oven and genuine cookie dough. Classy!

So, here we have the members of the all-Sue leet assassin team 'Weiss Herz' (why is there not a Suefic called Weiss Herz? You'd think at least someone out there would have used that one). They're way more awesome than Weiss themselves so their nonsensical tagon noun isn't just there because it makes for a better series name than Weiss by itself does and allows for crucifix motifs in official art: no, it is actually in their team name because OMG SPESHUL. Rain gets to wear the skinny jeans because skinny jeans are fashionable (now, not in 1999, but Rain of course has only the vaguest awareness that Weiss Kreuz was actually set ten years ago). The other three dress according to their own particular stereotype and conveniently color-code themselves too because that's how it worked on Power Rangers and anything else might actually involve giving them individual personalities.



So, from left to right, we have Leigh Kiryuu, codenamed Kitsune, powers: pyrokinesis and a photographic memory; Rain herself, currently codenamed Seraphim, powers: telepathy, telekinesis and super-healing; Valkyrie Ashaki, commonly known as Kyrie, codenamed Banshee, powers: super strength and ki blasts; and Gilly Lorenz, codenamed Djinn, powers: precognition and force fields.

Their choice in codenames aren't taken from any one fic in particular. They just reflect the tendency some fanficcers have to give their neat new Kritiker agent characters codenames just because they sound cool or are vaguely interlinked, not because they actually sound like they could be the names of teammates - and, in the case of Rain's 'Seraphim' codename there, occasionally to break the pattern they've formed by giving one character out of four a codename that is perhaps sort of similar to the rest of the team's if you squint and don't think about it too hard, but clearly doesn't really work. Hence the members of the all-Sue assassin team 'Weiss Herz' take their names from mythological creatures: it's just too bad that none of them are from the same mythological tradition and 'Seraphim' is something of a category error.

(Links, as before, to the fics the Sue's namesake came from. While I'm here, as regards weiss_badfics: sporks will resume in the New Year.)

Oh, and we have a blonde one, a black-haired one, a brunette one and YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK IT PINK HAIR.

This happens way more than you'd think with Sue teams. The Suethor comes up with two or three hair colors that fit pattern (doesn't matter if it's a pattern for largely normal colors or for totally ridiculous bubblegum animu colors as long as it's established a common thread) and then throws her hands up when she gets to the last one because FUCK IT THIS ONE HAS GREEN HAIR AUGH. Needless to say these luminaries look a touch out of place next to their teammates - and, for that matter, Weiss themselves - as a result.

Finally, here's a Candybar doll of Tamashii Akegata, otherwise known as Rain's mother who is of course also tragically dead, dressed like an early-eighties pop star. Which she apparently was, because it takes a Sue to spawn a Sue and her mommy was apparently stunningly beautiful, talented (though she gave up the pop singing to be the perfect mother to her little Sue, of course) and victimized as well - just not to quite the same extent that her ridiculously sparkly offspring is. I suppose to have been truly Suethor-accurate I should have dressed her like Amy Lee and who cares that it's 1980 and nobody dressed like that then and certainly not bubblegum pop singers, but I wanted an excuse to actually use some of the ridiculously eighties clothes on Candybar for once.





I suppose I should actually write this thing now. And I should probably get a shift on as I'm going home for Christmas in a week, for a week, and knowing what I do about being at home in general and being at home over Christmas in particular I can probably forget getting anything much done while I'm there.

Now all I've got to do is convince myself to stop listening to Christmas carols. STOP LISTENING TO CHRISTMAS CAROLS, SELF, IT WILL ONLY END BADLY.