30 March 2011 @ 03:17 pm
On Icons (Again)  
... oh yeah, this meme. I could do that. That would be a decent thing to put in here.

Of course, I'm going to be cheating shamelessly just because I don't have some of these icons. For categories that don't apply, it's going to be either the nearest thing or an icon I just happen to like. Because, you know, I'm a ridiculous one-trick pony. I don't have celebrity icons or non-fandom icons and the closest I have to a stock icon is '... well, I guess I did use a lot of brushes on this one'.

But. It's a meme, and it's about icons, so I want to do it anyway. Because I like icons and may in fact be in the mood to make a few.


Default IconOldest IconNewest IconHappiest IconSaddest Icon
Angriest IconCutest IconSexiest IconFunniest IconCleverest Icon
Prettiest IconSilliest IconFlashiest IconFlailiest IconBest WTF Icon
Best LOL IconBest Text IconBest Art IconBest Stock IconBest Cropped

Best Animated

Best B/W Icon

Best Coloured

Favourite Shippy

Favourite Single
Character Icon

Favourite Celeb Lyric

Favourite Fandom
Favourite Non-
Fandom Weiss Icon
Most used Icon
(Not your default)
Favourite Icon

How many icons do you have total?

How many can you have?
134. That surprises me, actually, I thought I'd got no space left. Uh... well, I'll hang onto it just in case?

If you could buy space for more, would you?
Uh... not sure. I figure that what with the package deals out there now I probably could get more icon slots if I chose and would actually like to, but with the state of my finances at the moment, it's not a good idea. Something else to do when I have the cash, I guess.

Do your icons make a statement about you?
'This woman is obsessed with Ken Hidaka'.

What fandom do you have the most icons out of?
AHAHAHAAHA. What do you think?

The second most?
... yeah, see above. I'm considering making icons for CSI: NY and Puella Magi Madoka Magica sometime, but I doubt I'd actually upload any of them. Still, I just like making icons, so not using them wouldn't exactly be a deal-breaker.

What ship do you have the most icons out of?
In keeping with my status as 'that annoying Youji/Ken fangirl'... well, yeah. Got a reputation to live up to here!

Break down your icons for us.
I don't even understand what this question means and am too groggy to make it make sense. Uh... most of them have Ken on?

How do you categorize your icons?
I didn't when I first uploaded them so now I'm kind of stuck with the mess I got unless I want to break all my keywords, which I don't. Basically, Ken icons just get a random descriptions, icons with another character on them are tagged with that character's name, then the random description.

Are your icons mostly made by other users?
My icons are all made by me.

Animated icons are...
Like every other kind of icon. When they're done well, they're fine. The problem is that when they're not, their look-at-all-this-blinky-shit-omg distractingness is twice as annoying as a bad static icon would be.

Want to try? Code:

Current Mood: distracted
Current Music: copperhead road - steve earle
19 March 2010 @ 12:25 am
Admit it, Kenken, you're cute.  
Well. Looks like this thing has been sitting on my desktop waiting for me to post it for quite a while now. It's probably about time I did something with it, so I could at least delete the file I saved it in.

This would be an icon meme. Specifically, it's a Livejournal roleplayer's icon meme, and it seems to me it's as good a way as any to show off my flashy roleplay icon set. Yes, I made special icons just to roleplay Ken with, none of the other ones would do because I needed textless expressive images. DON'T JUDGE ME. Anyway, I honestly can't remember whose journal I saw this on. I seem to recall that I got it from Grell-mun's character journal, but I'm not totally sure any more. It really has been a while, after all.

I was going to post the completed meme to my character journal, because it's really a character-journal kind of meme. But then I thought, no. It'd just get in the way there - [ profile] somarium isn't one of those games where character journals are just useful so that you have something to post to the community from; you actually need to use the things over there - and it'd make a lot more sense to post over at my personal journal instead. So here I am, here it is, and here are my purpose-built roleplay icons. Oh what fun.

The Character Expression Meme

Character: Ken Hidaka
Journal: [ profile] 1thingincommon
RPG: [ profile] somarium

.hurt..guilty..bored..laughing. love.

Snag yourself the coding here.

Some of these were quite hard being as Kapitel-era Ken just plain isn't very good at looking like that in the first place. I don't for example have a specifically flirty icon because Ken looks intentionally flirtatious so damn rarely that it's just not an issue my icon set usually has to deal with. Far more important to have yet another variation on the theme of 'irritable', I get far more use out of those ones than I ever would out of an icon I made specifically for occasions when Ken's hitting on people, which he never does anyway - or not enough, anyway, that I can justify using one of thirty-five icon solots on it. Now maybe if I had a few more spaces free...

Yeah, so part of me wants to buy Ken extra icon slots, because I know I'd use them, too. On the other hand, committing myself to making yet more of these damn things because now I've started making him an actual set, I'd want to carry on that way? Maybe not.

Current Mood: ken is pretty
Current Music: oasis - gackt
04 March 2010 @ 06:41 pm
Except Nobody Asked You, Did They?  
So here I am procrastinating on a shower, feeling grimy and kinda tired because my nap failed hard and thinking that maybe if I sit up a bit and then make that macaroni cheese I'll be full enough after that that I'll manage to get another couple hours' sleep, that sounds good, all I need to do is wait for it to be vaguely late enough to make a meal. And yeah, should probably have that shower first. de dah. Not in the mood for tagging as I'm a bit too frazzled to write myself WHAT TO DO let's check the flist. Flist will know. Maybe.

So checking flist now. Oh look [ profile] caseyvalhalla posted a handwriting meme, those are always interesting. I'd like to do a handwriting meme, too bad I can't because O WAIT I HAVE A DIGITAL CAMERA RIGHT THEN.

So that's what this entry is all about. I'm doing that handwriting meme even though [ profile] caseyvalhalla didn't actually ask me to do it and may in fact have forgotten that I exist. I wouldn't be surprised, really, I've been pretty lame as of late. No real excuses for that given how little I have to do a lot of the time. Still, I can at least do this handwriting meme, maybe it'll make up for... well, for something?

Handwriting Meme

1. Write your username.
2. Write your 2 favourite bands/groups of the moment.
3. Write something you ♥, aka lemme see your heart.
4. Write the name of your favourite person of all time.
5. Write the name of your recent favoured person.
6. Tag 6 people to do this meme

This took far longer than it ought to have done because really wtf, I am twenty-seven years old, I'm getting a bit beyond favorite bands, still less thinking that they actually mean anything. It also took me a long time to think who my favorite person would be. I mean, really, my favorite person of all time? Out of my entire life? That's a tough one. I ended up restricting it to 'favorite famous person' for the sake of getting the damn thing finished and even then I ended up with two. Also, on the offchance you've never heard of the guy in #5, he has a wiki page and a Kate Beaton Comic, just like Charlotte Corday and Jules Verne and I've never heard of this guy but the comic is awesome, and if you're not reading Hark! A Vagrant you need to start, trust me. Anyway, meme.

Translation available on request. Herp de derp can't write.

The truly weird thing is that my mother - who is an English teacher of all things - thinks I have very nice handwriting. Sure, she sees a lot of it so she's possibly in a better position than most to judge but I still think she is quite possibly insane because it's a semi-legible cursive scrawl. Okay, so it's a vaguely elegant-looking semi-legible cursive scrawl, but we're still talking semi-legible here.
Current Music: love stuff - kinya kotani
Current Mood: and now i need a shower
31 December 2009 @ 03:49 pm
So Long And Thanks For All The Fish  
... yeah, still locked out of my house. Can't get online at all at Richard's, because while they do have a net connection, they don't have anything like a net-capable computer that I can actually use. Richard's mother needs her laptop for work, a state which for her appears to be endless and unceasing, and Richard himself worships at the altar of the Mighty Apple, so none of my documents or programs would actually work on his machine.

I'm currently bumming a net connection - and computer, for that matter - off the endlessly patient [ profile] rokesmith. For obvious reasons I can't stick around for hours (and I dearly wish I could) but I can at least update my LJ.

At this time of the year, of course, that means only one thing - my traditional yearly meme-style roundup of everything that's been going on, at least as far as it pertains to the first and last entries I made in every month so far - not including this one where December is counted, of course, because I haven't written it yet and it wouldn't be a true reflection of the randomness that this meme should consist of. I guess four years makes it a tradition and, for lack of any better ideas what I should do (in an LJ sense of the word) to usher in the new year, this seems as good as any. Here's hoping at least some of what I uncover is at last vaguely amusing.

LiveJournal Review of the Year Meme


Go into your lj calendar. For each month, post the first sentence of the first entry for each month, and the last sentence of the last entry for each month.
This will create a summary of your lj for the year 2008. Exclude quiz sentences.
2009 is off to an absolutely fucking abysmal start.
Cross-posted (eventually) to That Other Top-Sekrit Spork Journal of mine.

My website, for the three of you who like to visit it in all its pointlessness, is likely to be offline for a while.
Sadly, there's nowhere near as many of them about, so it's going to take a little time... You could watch this space, but I won't blame you if you decide not to.

According to Photobucket - or at least its annoying adolescent userbase - the way to prove you're a true friend is to act like a total, raving bitch to anyone who displeases your 'BFF', out of whose back passage the sun, of course, shines brighter than day because they're like your friend and you're both way more special and awesome than anyone else, like, ever and they all like totally deserve it.
All I'm asking for is a little proportion.

Okay, so this post and the entirely pointless graphics that can be found therein took a lot of time and effort I could have spent more productively on writing or icon-making or... well, practically anything else, but I've felt so tired and iffy the last few days it's probably better for all concerned that I just go with the (deeply stupid) flow.
Call me old-fashioned, but I can't help thinking some things are best done by actual detectives.

... I'm going to try and write a novel.
Shouldn't I be more mature than this?

It often seems to me that the truly worrying thing about Mary Sues isn't character rape or bad prose or even wish-fulfilment.
Hopefully of course it won't come to that, but better safe than sorry.

So, there was this girl who started a thread in Gaia Online's Picture Post forum, showing off a really, dramatically not very good doodle she had done 'in like three minuets' while she was at work.
Needless to say the Suethor deleted my review utterly unacknowledged within about a day of receiving it. Sigh.

In the wake of finally finishing Through a Glass Darkly I have decided to try, in the vernacular, to push my luck a little bit... at least as far as fanfiction goes.
Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.

... but I just changed my LJ layout for the first time in over a year.
Bonus gems: comparison of the whole situation to faculty committees, a flouncing kitten icon and, just when you think it can't possibly get any wankier, furbashing.

So, now to backdate some shit to make it look as if I actually use this thing from time to time.
AT LEAST I'M HONEST ABOUT MY FAILINGS and let it be hoped that I am a better author than HTML... webpage... coder thing, otherwise I am in serious trouble.

Warning: There are TV Tropes links in this post.
I'm just dispirited enough by rampant fangirl misogyny that I'm not sure I want to subject myself to any more of it, no matter what the author's rationale behind it may be.

... to borrow a title from Private Eye.
I plan to get online at least a couple of times in the interim, but don't expect to see that much of me until this shit sorts itself out.

So, the year starts with me wrestling with the benefits agency and ends with me locked out of my house. To say this year wasn't exactly the improvment on 2008 I hoped it would be would be... well, entirely accurate. It was, in fact, more of the same, just with me looking another year older. Good Christ. Something's got to give lest I end up giving up totally and going and becoming some kind of weird agnostic version of a nun. Are there such things as agnostic nuns? I feel like there should be, if only to get some of us religiously confused yet deeply charitable ladies off the streets, and I can be charitable if I actually have any damn money to do it with, CHRIST. Gah. Okay, next year will be better.

One thing I am grateful for, though, is that the festive season is drawing to a close. Nothing against the festive season, mind, but it does get to the point where it starts to feel like Sunday every day for about a week, if not slightly longer. Some kind of awareness of what day it actually was would be nice, and for that reason alone I'm eagerly awaiting the return of normal service.

So: anyone got a job they can give me? Go on, gissa job.
Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: john is humming a merry tune
29 August 2009 @ 02:18 am
Woman, 27, Crushed to Death by Pile of Books.  
I should be in bed but I've been reading Junji Ito's Uzumaki and now I can't sleep because the spirals will eat me.

Okay, this wasn't one of the things I planned to backdate but frankly I don't have the patience to write an entry about the review I left on that godawful Marisa Star Trek Suefic just yet, so I'm not going to. I blame the fact that I feel tired and shitty and have been all day, and my brain's utter refusal to stop pestering me to write really bad and plotless Ken porn that would have [ profile] weiss_badfics beating a path to my door if only I actually finished it and posted it somewhere. Which I don't plan to. Post it, I mean. Because it wouldn't be very good.

So that means memes, of course. I like memes. I saw this one knocking about the place over on Journalfen and decided to do it for the sheer fun of it and because it would take about ten minutes and I'm lazy. Not sure I totally believe the assertion that 'most people' will only have read six books on the list or that the BBC were the ones who said so, but here goes anyway.

The BBC (apparently) believes that most people will have read only six of the hundred books here. How do your reading habits stack up?

Bold means I read it and finished it;
Italic means I didn't finish it;
Underlined means I read it for school; if it's then bold I read it again later; italics and I didn't finish it.

This is otherwise known as the meme in which laila's occasional tendency to lose books halfway through reading them and never see them again, ever, comes back to bite her in the ass but good. It doesn't help that I got half of these off my mum and couldn't take all my books with me when I left home, this place already looks like a book depository and I had to leave what must have been half my books in Kent due to a severe lack of space.l Some day, she says, I will have my own apartment and actual bookshelves.

  1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
  2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
  3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
  4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
  5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
  6. The Bible
  7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
  8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
  9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
  10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
  11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
  12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
  13. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
  14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
  15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
  16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
  17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
  18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
  19. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
  20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
  21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
  22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
  23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
  24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
  25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
  26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
  27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
  29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
  30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
  31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
  32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
  33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
  34. Emma - Jane Austen
  35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
  36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
  37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
  38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
  39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
  40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
  41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
  42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
  43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
  44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
  45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
  46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
  47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
  48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
  49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
  50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
  51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
  52. Dune - Frank Herbert
  53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
  54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
  55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
  56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
  57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
  58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
  59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
  60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
  61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
  62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
  63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
  64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
  65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
  66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
  67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
  68. Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
  69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
  70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
  71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
  72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
  73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
  74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
  75. Ulysses - James Joyce
  76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
  77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
  78. Germinal - Emile Zola
  79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
  80. Possession - AS Byatt
  81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
  82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
  83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
  84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
  85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
  86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
  87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White
  88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
  89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
  90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
  91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
  92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
  93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
  94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
  95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
  96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
  97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
  98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
  99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
  100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Okay, so I also read The Great Gatsby and Animal Farm for school, but I don't count them as set texts because I'd read them for fun before.

If I only got on with Dickens I'd be doing a lot better, but his work just isn't really to may taste. I made several doomed attempts to read Great Expectations as a wee one and just couldn't get through it. Repeated experiments with other Dickens novels only served to confirm me in that opinion. One of the things I dread about trying to write The Book is that I should probably read some Dickens for the social commentary and good God but I have problems with him and I don't even know why. I read Anna Karenina and loved it but can I get through Hard Times? Can I shit.

That aside, some of my very favorite books are on this list - Lolita, Brideshead Revisited, The Great Gatsby, Notes from a Small Island, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Catch-22 would all be on my extensive desert island reading list. I honestly have no idea what this says about me except that I probably read too much and am trying too hard to Look Clever.

If you take nothing else away from this, take this: clearly, I should not be allowed to read Junji Ito's manga. Drr... drr... drr...
Current Music: nothing
Current Mood: not so hot
11 June 2009 @ 06:11 pm
Memetic Mutations  
Oh, so once again I haven't been updating. I blame the Ken in a hole fic (26 pages, 20,000 words, still clamoring for attention like a bitch.) I'm going to have to take the time someday soon and not go online for a day or so, just sit down and write this little bastard so that I can say it's done. God damn it, and to think when I first had this idea it seemed like such a simple little angst fic... I'm not going to finish this thing, it's going to be abandoned. And it'll deserve it.

I'm hoping this post will be backdated sometime soon because I feel like I have lots of other things I should be putting in this space that aren't as tedious. Until then, well: I wanted to do this, so here: have another meme.

This is a pretty simple meme, all told: kind of an 'answer the question' deal that doesn't involve an mp3 player or going to memegen and looking for things about Mary Sues or uploading things to Photobucket, something I generally do with no provocation whatsoever, or all the usual general lunacy that memes involve. (It's also not the drabble meme which I would like to do but feel I'd suck at.) It's been a long time since I did a meme which was as outright simple as this which didn't involve fandom. That being the case, I guess at least some of this information might come as a surprise to some of you, which is why this isn't backdated. Yet.

Meme ganked from [ profile] deathcomes4u.

1. Your Middle Name:
Is now my first name, because my original forename makes me sound like something fey in a lawn dress and a straw bonnet who sulks and pouts her way through an Anthony Trollope novel before ultimately marrying the local vicar. It just didn't suit me. I've been planning to start going by my middle name since I came to London, just didn't get round to it in college.

2. Age:
Just turned twenty-seven, and thank you to everyone who left me birthday wishes! ♥ Update on my birthday itself is probably coming as soon as I can be bothered to upload the pictures to Photobucket.

3. Single or Taken:
Ask [ profile] rokesmith. Okay, taken.

4. Favorite Movie:
My favorite movie of the now is Star Trek XI. Not just a good Star Trek movie, but a fantastic film in its own right. Go and see it. My favorite movie of all time? Absolutely refuses to be narrowed down because I've seen rather too many movies, so here's the roll call of something resembling a Top Ten, in alphabetical order in an attempt to impose some kind of order on this anarchy, and leaving anime out of it because I'd never get anywhere that way: American Beauty, Bowling for Columbine, The Blue Angel, Chungking Express, Duck Soup, Downfall, the original Italian Job, Playtime, the three proper Star Wars movies especially The Empire Strikes Back, and The Truman Show. And just be thankful you didn't ask what my favorite book is.

5. Favorite Song or Album:
I don't have one. Music for me is so much about what kind of mood I'm in and what I'm doing at the time, so while I have a lot of songs I absolutely love - there are far too many to list, actually, because whatever I put down I know I'd be forgetting like, twenty more at least - I couldn't really call any of them my absolute favorite because too much depends on external influences. Well... except Moonflower, which is one of the most depressing cheerful-sounding songs I have ever heard and thus suits Ken down to the ground. Yeah.

6. Favorite Band/Artist:
GAAAAH GOD DAMMIT MEME. Stop asking me about favorites, this never ends well. You're getting Tomokazu Seki and liking it as anything else would require ten minutes of agonizing. So there.

7. Dirty or Clean:
I like being clean and clean things, but I absolutely despise the process of cleaning or getting things clean, so while in theory I love cleanliness, in practice I'm often rather more schmutzig than I would like. Including right now OH GOD DAMMIT I NEED A SHOWER LIKE IMMEDIATELY or my landlady will come back and put the sprinkler on and there'll be no water pressure asgfdsgh--

8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
No tattoos, though I did consider getting one a while back - the Chinese character for 'woman' on my shoulder - but decided not to because lol fat girls with tattoos. I do have three ear piercings on each side, though, all through the lobe. I want a cartilage piercing but not while job hunting and I'm getting a bit old anyway. I also used to have an eyebrow ring when I was 19, but it grew out. Also, wet hair. I told you I needed a shower.

9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
Depends. If you're [ profile] kay_cricketed we met briefly in London and it was awesome, if you're [ profile] rokesmith you live about two miles away and you're dating me for some reason. For everyone else it's a big fat No.

10. What's your philosophy on life?
Ken Hidaka is adorable. No, I can't do that. Right, if it is made of meat that means it must be edible. No? Okay, if it's possible to get screwed over by an institution you're relying on, it will happen not just soon but immediately, and it will be me that it happens to. No, that doesn't work either. Uh... it is never too early to take a nap, and never too late either? Um, actually I don't think I have one. I might have done as an idealistic young thing but I've largely been reduced to muddling through and hoping it'll all make sense in hindsight, which right now it really doesn't. Which means I probably haven't managed to get shot of the optimism entirely. Wait, what about the more moving parts there are the more likely it is that something'll go wrong? That sounds about right.

11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
... I suffer from a depressive illness that never quite goes away. What do you damn well think?

12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
I was a student nurse, we get quite good at being closed-mouthed around people if we think they genuinely don't need to know something right now. I'm a compulsive confessor and generally not very good with secrets, especially not if they're about things I feel guilty over, but if I genuinely think there's a good reason to keep quiet about something I probably will.

13. What is your favorite memory of us?
Depends who 'us' is. Questions like this make me wonder who started this meme and if it wasn't meant to go further than their own friends list.

14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
Gaia Online. I have four accounts on a site for thirteen year olds and sign in daily. Also, Moonflower.

15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
I'm morbid and think quite frequently about suicide - but in the abstract. I myself am no suicide risk at all as I'm a coward and afraid of pain and death, but every single time I'm waiting for the Tube and the train's just pulling into the station, I think of the horribly telling phrase, 'services delayed due to passenger action', and think about what it must be like to throw yourself under a train, and how much it hurts and for how long, and am horribly aware that for a few brief seconds there is the possibility of doing this. And I think this every. Single. Time. I catch a Tube train.

16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
I want money - I don't care whether it's from a job or because someone has given me it. Ideally there would be lots of it, but as long as there's enough for me to be financially secure and actually live a little on top of that it would do me, I'm sick to death of worrying about money and buying damn near everything secondhand. I also want to go back to college and qualify either as an Operating Department Practitioner or (if money was no object and I could do the degree) a Radiographer. After that, I want to write my book series and publish it and have people tell me that it's as fantastic and awesome on the page as it is in my head. The end.

17. Can we get together and make a cake?
As long as you buy the plane tickets and don't mind breathing in in order to fit in my postage-stamp-sized kitchen. And don't mind any of the following: 1. Ginger Sponge Cakes; 2. Fruit Cake, but not like really rich fruit cake where there's more fruit than cake, more like that Mr. Kipling Manor House stuff; 3. Anything with chocolate frosting.

18. Which country is your spiritual home?
Um, probably England. There are lots of countries I'd like to visit, but like it or not (and often I don't), I really am British to the core.

19. What is your big weakness?
Depression. It seriously gets in everywhere and colors everything and I wish to fuck it would go away.

20. Do you think I'm a good person?
Depends who 'you' are. Who wrote this? Because if it was Kim Jong-Il or someone then no. If you're on my friends list, though, chances are it's because I think there's at least some good in you. (That or you like Weiss Kreuz which could go either way, I guess.) Even if it's only because you're a funny Livejournal community about bad sex or are full of pretty photographs.

21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
English, without a shadow of a doubt. I loved my English classed far more than I realized. If you'd asked me at the time, I'd probably have said my favorite classes were the 'piss about for no real reason' classes like art or design, but I knew I was going to take English at A-Level without even really having to think about it, which I guess says rather a lot about me. I sometimes wonder how differently my lifer would have worked out if I had gone to to English Literature at university instead of trying and failing to complete a Politics and Modern History degree. Probably not that different, actually; I'd still have been my unstable self.

22. Describe your accent:
Unplaceable. I've been told I sound Australian on several occasions, which is a bit odd given that I have the kind of accent most Americans think middle-class English people should have, though perhaps a little less plummy.

23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
Honestly? I'd change several things about a lot of the people I know, not least of whom would be myself.

24. What do you wear to sleep?
Um... honestly, more or less anything as I have the ability to sleep more or less any time and any place as long as it's quiet enough and there's somewhere for me to lie down. If nightwear is actually going to be involved (which at least half the time it isn't) then I wear pajamas unless it's really hot, in which case I might go with a nightshirt.

25. Trousers or skirts?
Both. I like wearing skirts - usually these are full and to just below the knee, because I happen to think I look a lot better in full 1950s-ish skirts than I do in shorter, tighter ones. I can be very girly and it makes me feel pretty and also I like to think I have good legs, but trousers are easier to bum around the place in without fearing upskirts, and also (weirdly) I find trousers much more comfortable to sleep in despite the fact that logically they should be a lot more restrictive. No, I don't get why either. Maybe it's because there's less fabric there.

26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
Alcohol; I only like fictional smoking (but I think fictional smoking looks aesthetically awesome, and it's a useful prop for a writer). I've never tried smoking due to my asthma and I don't drink often or to excess, but I like a drink with a meal every now and then.

27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!):
That would depend on your personality, interests and temperament, and also which 'you' was being referred to. But if you looked amenable to it I'd probably do what I did for my birthday which is take you down the River Thames and go to Kew Gardens. I think there's something very special about London seen from the river, and everybody should go to Kew at least once before they die. Also, the London Eye. If anybody out there could be guilty of, in the words of Terry Pratchett, trying to gift-wrap a city it would be me, but it's not my fault London is awesome.

28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
Does this count?
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: guilty pleasure - becca
21 May 2009 @ 06:39 am
And So, Backdating.  
Because I can.

So, this is a meme I made ages ago, forgot about, then remembered again in the context of a parody fic I want to write if I can ever get over my feeling horribly sick again and mild writer's block. (Needless to say, it involves a Mary Sue parody because I'm predictable like that.) Consequently, I am pimping out here again on the offchance that somebody on my friendslist hasn't actually seen it. Because I did, after all, make it a very long time ago and I figure it's time I mentioned it to everyone who wasn't around the first time, meaning most of you.

I know that backdating something I'd actually quite like people to see, actually, defeats the point somewhat, but I'm not quite that determined to spam people's friendslists. Anyway, here it stands in all its dubious glory - Ye Olde Mary Sue Meme, now redone for a new millennium with a few cosmetic changes and a few more choices in each of the fields. After all, my continuing research into the ways of the Sue had led me to realize that I'd left out some really bloody obvious Mary Sue names. For example, there wasn't nearly a high enough likelihood that any Sue generated by this meme would end up with the name 'Catherine'. Or 'Kath'rynne'. Or 'Cat'.

So, You Want to be a Mary Sue? (Any Fandom. Really) by quietladybirman
Fandom to Violate:
Mary Sue's True Love:
Mary Sue Forename:Harmony
Mary Sue Family Name:Valentine
Luxuriant Tresses:Pale jade green
Vibrant Orbs:Mysterious, alluring ruby
Captivating Personality:Loving and affectionate
Mary Sue Power:A photographic memory
Angsty Secret:On the run from a murderous former lover
Ultimate Fate:Falls pregnant with her True Love's child, gives birth to another Sue then dies
OOC Level:

I should probably have done it with a Star Trek Sue or something, just for the sake of trying to make it look more up-to-date, but I always use Ken when I fill out this meme and post it. I'm just determined to make life difficult for that boy, I know.

Worryingly, this Sue sounds rather like the annoying Ken Sue in Trinity: Wife, Aunt and Mother-To-Be. Except she was a vampire.

Next time I edit this meme, which going by my current record will be sometime in 2011 provided that Memegen still exists, the world hasn't ended and I haven't fallen off a cliff or something, I think I may add a new field for the inevitable Mary Sue clothing description. It feels like I'm missing an integral part of the whole hideous Mary Sue experience without it. Part of me worries that it might be a little too long and detailed a field for this meme to cope with, but the rest of me thinks that I need to add it because I think it would be funny. Which means that I'll very likely end up doing it just because it would amuse me if it were there - but later, of course. Later sounds good.
Current Music: flame - taku iwasaki
Current Mood: lazy
24 March 2009 @ 11:40 pm
Also, I Like J-Pop.  
Haven't been downstairs all day.

Haven't been feeling well all day, as well. The two things may be connected.

Oh God I am such a lazy ass regarding my writing. Also I need to work on my Manx post for [ profile] wk_awakenings but have been feeling so crummy all day that I haven't wanted to inflict myself on her. I'll do it later, when I feel slightly less generally sick and shitty. Maybe eating will help? On the other hand, maybe it'll just make me feel even more sick and shitty.

Also, scared about Friday. [ profile] rokesmith knows why and no doubt thinks I'm a daft bitch for it, as he has assured me there is nothing to be worried about and after all it's not actually a job interview, but this doesn't really seem to help much when I am painfully aware that my wardrobe is as threadbare as someone who's been unemployed for as long as I have's tends to be, I look about as prospectless as I feel most days, I'm unwell and also I wish I could afford to do something about my hair which right now looks like crap, but I can't. I won't say anything more for fear of jinxing myself, but all the same: I Am Scared About Friday.

Ken in/out of a hole fic is progressing slowly. Am also feeling the urge to work on the one where he gets abducted by Powell for no reason other than Porn Can Happen This Way. Also, the Omi thing I did for the Kink Meme. In fact, I want to write a lot of things and wish I could clone myself to do so, but knowing me the clones would just sit around reading Fandom Wank, sleeping, eating junk and looking for stupid people on Gaia.

Oh well. Have another icon meme I stole off of [ profile] __fantine.

I'm going to presume that I was supposed to be limited to icons I actually have uploaded, and not every single icon I have ever made like, ever. However, I spit on that presumption because that presumption is boring, and also I like having full priveliges to run around like an idiot over my entire icon collection. Because I like to make life difficult for myself, don'tyouknow.

1. How do you feel right now?

2. What's your favourite pastime?

3. Do you consider yourself a strange person?

4. What's your favourite fandom?

5. OTP?

6. How do you describe yourself?

7. How do others describe you?

8. Do you have an icon of your future husband/wife?

9. Do you have an LOLWHUT icon?

... no, I don't think I am going to marry an anime character. Or those girls with the cell phones. #8 works in a sort of 'in a way' kind of thing and I trust the person in question knows why it works. Yes, I know, I am a sappy idiot and I am going to run away now so that I don't inflict any more of my idiot sappiness on innocent and unwilling victims. Also, I want to try out this 'eating stuff makes you feel less crappy' theory I have going.
Current Music: tatta hitotsu no omoi - kokia
Current Mood: blank
06 February 2009 @ 04:23 pm
... no, that doesn't make you the next W. H. Auden. Stop it.  
I put the battery back in my wall clock. I'm thinking of taking it out again, though, because for some reason it ticks extremely loudly and when I'm not making any other noise myself, it can be quite distracting. Fortunately I always sleep with earplugs in, so it isn't keeping me from getting to sleep, but it's still pretty noticeable when I'm just sitting around doing not very much, as I am at the moment. On the other hand, it's useful to have a big clock back. Decisions...

I'm procrastinating on abut nine million things, including writing, posting an actual update of substance (I have one I really want to do) and lunch. As regards lunch, I'm not all that hungry just yet and should probably wait until I am.

Also, I seem to have a lot of fics I want to work on, mostly simultaneously. I need to look into cloning, I guess. I want to start on some of those theoretically brief birthday fic prompts I asked for, also finish another chapter of That WIP and work on the Omi/Ken noncon fic with ideas above its station and also Ordinary People which keeps jumping up and down like an ADD sibling demanding it's awesome and oh God Roses in Rain, but I really feel like I need to finish the two one-shots I have on the go at the moment before I can do anything else. Problem is that for various reasons (mostly related to me being me) they're coming very slowly and taking a lot longer than I anticipated they would. Why in the world I can get this much etcetera out of two very simple concepts I don't know. Damn scene-setting and mood-building and nuances.

Of course, as is fairly typical in this situation, as I have so much I could be doing what I am actually doing is nothing very much aside from sit on my ass, browse my friendslist, and post on Gaia. So, while I'm procrastinating, here's a meme I ganked from [ profile] vr2lbast

When you see this, post your favorite poem in your journal.


I wandered through each chartered street,
Near where the chartered Thames does flow,
A mark in every face I meet,
Marks of weakness, marks of woe.

In every cry of every man,
In every infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in every ban,
The mind-forged manacles I hear:

How the chimney-sweeper's cry
Every blackening church appals,
And the hapless soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down palace-walls.

But most, through midnight streets I hear
How the youthful harlot's curse
Blasts the new-born infant's tear,
And blights with plagues the marriage-hearse.

William Blake

This was actually quite hard, largely because the more I try and think about what my favorite poem actually is, the more of them I remember and the more confused I get. I get all tangled up with This Be The Verse which is the only poem I know off by heart and explains why I personally do not want children (I'd only fuck them up) but which is not my favorite poem thanks mom, and Siegfried Sassoon's The General, which I almost know off by heart and also Dulce et Decorum Est by Wilfred Owen and W. B. Yeats's An Irish Airman Forsees His Death which I know I only heard of because it was used in Memphis Belle but I still love it, and The Rime of the Ancient Mariner is Too Damn Long and Inferno is a sodding book... yeah, it's nearly impossible.

The irony is that after all that muddle and confusion and realizing I liked far more poems than I thought I ultimately decided that I couldn't choose between two poems by William Blake. I knew London - which I first read in English class aged fifteen, and couldn't believe that I was the only one there who thought it was a brilliant poem - was by Blake, but I had no idea he wrote The Tyger too.

The Tyger

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright,
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

William Blake

... shut up it's my LJ I can have two favorite poems if I want.

By the by, I would not recommend actually spending time on this site I found most of these poems on, because a whole lot of amateur idiots seem to think either it's FictionPress or they're on a par with Emily Dickinson and have uploaded their own painfully tedious doggerel there, which makes browsing around a painful experience and searching the database an utter nightmare.

Guys, sorry if this busts your bubble but 99.5% of the people who come to a site called PoemHunter are looking for something they read once and forgot, or - like I was - to the actual verses of a poem they already know and love. They're not after reading the tiresome, self-indulgent and ultimately utterly forgettable scribblings of a self-regarding emo teenager who really should have got herself a MySpace or a FictionPress account, not uploaded her dashed-off masterworks # I USED TO KNOW ME SO WELL #, mi suicide, ♥ Diary of a Broken Child♥ and Cutz on a site which lists them alongside the works of Edgar Allan Poe, Rudyard Kipling, Sylvia Plath and the sonnets of William Shakespeare.
Current Music: the future - leonard cohen
Current Mood: listless
15 January 2009 @ 04:14 pm
It ain't Spring, but I'm cleaning.  
My personality type: the dreamy idealist
Apparently I'm a dreamy idealist. Who knew?

Yes, as if that button thing there didn't make it obvious, this post is for memes. I'm in a procrastinating-on-a-shower, listening-to-anime-image-songs, get-some-of-those-notepad-documents-you-saved-stuff-in-off-your-desktop mood.

... yeah. Having my own net-capable computer has me getting into bad desktop habits. I like having my desktop clear save for program icons, but it's slowly becoming cluttered with little notepad documents containing shiny things that have caught my attention and I've wanted to LJ about, but have put aside 'for later' and then ignored forthwith. For example, the image code for this cute green button thing has been sat on my desktop for months, in a little notepad document named 'button' which contained the HTML for the button and absolutely nothing else. I did the meme, filed the result there, and then forgot about it. It's high time I posted it.

There's also this, which is... well, I forget where I found it or what the context was any more. I just found it amusing enough to want to post at... some point, which might as well be today as any other day.

Haiku2 for quietladybirman
their teammates to break
it up schwarz because crawford
can tell you've been paying
Created by Grahame

No, I have no idea where the Hell that generator thinks it got that string of Schwarz-centric weird from. I just think it was amusing that even a random LJ haiku generator bows to my Weiss fangirlishness and, weirdly, what it came up with almost makes some kind of sense. One question: when did I talk about Schwarz recently? (I almost swear I did this recently, but I may be wrong - after all, I found the code for this meme in a little notepad document I had forgotten about despite it being right on my desktop.) I know I don't mention them much.

And finally:

That Grab-The-Nearest-Book Meme

+ Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
+ Turn to page 56.
+ Find the fifth sentence.
+ Post that sentence along with these instructions in your LiveJournal.
+ Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.

"Actually, the promise Mrs. Haze had made was a fraudulent one: she had not told me that Mary Rose Hamilton (a dark little beauty in her own right) was to come too, and that the two nymphets would be whispering apart, and playing apart, and having a good time all by themselves, while Mrs. Haze and her handsome lodger conversed sedately in the seminude, far from prying eyes."

From Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov

... actually, the very closest book to hand is a pocket German dictionary resting on top of my computer - comes with the territory for a Weiss Kreuz fanficcer - but that's not really a book in the traditional sense as it contains no sentences, so I decided it didn't count for the purposes of memeage. Nor did the Yann Michel pocket cat breed photobook (once again no Siberians, God damn it American cat fanciers: I guess they'd be in a newer book, though, as they've finally gotten registered breed status in the States) as page 56 just consists of a rather nice double page spread of a Cornish Rex doing its cat thing, and that doesn't count as an actual quotable sentence either.

So, Lolita. In terms of closeness, it was either this or Sense and Sensibility again and I swear I did that the last time I did this meme. Ah, the perils of having a book living on top of your TV. Which is broken anyway, so I might as well use it and its stand to store books on.
Current Mood: how long has that been there?
Current Music: calling - you're under arrest!