27 February 2007 @ 10:41 pm
Tell Us How You Really Feel!  
Tonight's update was going to be a list of... statistics, I guess, about what I've been up to as of late, but something happened when I opened my email which rather changed my plans.

You see, this?

Flame Rising
ch 1, reply

What the fuck is this shit? Do you really think this is a story? My fucking ass could come up with something better.

The sad thing is, you really believe you're a good writer, don't you? Reality check, fucktard: YOU'RE NOT!

Take this, burn it, bury the remains, and never, ever attempt to write anything again. In fact, just to be sure, maybe you should jump off a cliff.

Yep. I think you should go do that so the rest of humanity doesn't have to be tortured by this shit you write.

Got it?
Good. Now fuck off.


This is beautiful. This is condensed fucking awesome in its absolute purest form, that is what this is.

But what are your thoughts on yaoi, Mary Sues, Phoenix Wright?

Today, I come of age as an author. Thank you, Roses in Rain, for being - apparently - a fucking appalling abortion of an idea that should never have been given life.

To make the hilarity even better (as if it could get better) and the irony of this even more perfect, it appears that Flame Rising is not a pissed-off Sueficcer, as I at first thought (this would have been awesome enough) but a sock account created solely for the purposes of - the irony is so delicious I could eat it with a spoon - flaming Mary Sues. Apparently Mary Sues ran over her cat or something.

Yeah. My fic has recieved a flame from someone who is FLAMING MARY SUE FICCERS.

At first I thought she was kidding. But she seems to take her self-imposed mission seriously enough to have set up C2 archives solely to showcase crummy Mary Sues (now, I run a C2, and I know creating archives to mock fics is against the Terms of Service). Everything else she has targeted for her particular brand of 'concrit' is an actual genuine Suefic.

I'm somewhat confused as to how she managed to miss the two bona fide Suefics sat on the same archive page as my parody was, though it ADDS TO THE SHEER DELIGHT I FEEL.

Ahh, fantwits. Never change.

I may reply like so:

par·o·dy [par-uh-dee] noun
plural -dies, verb, -died, -dy·ing. noun
  • a humorous or satirical imitation of a serious piece of literature or writing: his hilarious parody of Hamlet's soliloquy.
  • the genre of literary composition represented by such imitations.
    any humorous, satirical, or burlesque imitation, as of a person, event, etc.
  • –verb (used with object) to imitate (a composition, author, etc.) for purposes of ridicule or satire.

sat·ire noun
  • the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
  • a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
  • a literary genre comprising such compositions.

But, on the other hand, I don't think I can be bothered. Especially not since Flame Rising, despite considering herself several pegs both intellectually and morally above the average Sue-writing vole-like denizen of the Pit, clearly doesn't know how to read. Because if she had bothered to do anything other than read the freakin' summary of Roses in Rain, she would have known it was a parody. Not exactly a subtle parody, either.

(And she clearly didn't read the summary properly, either.)

This is all so beautiful I could just die.
Current Mood: comedy gold, man.
Current Music: a killers cd i brought at the charity shop
11 December 2006 @ 11:13 pm
Pardon me while I CONCRIT YOUR ASS OFF.  
I have a feeling I may have just ruined someone's evening.

Once again I have been on the Pit, once again I have found a fic that's only gotten worse since I sporked it, and once again the urge to leave huge and lengthy concrit has grabbed me by the throat and beaten me over the head. With a baseball bat.

I know, I'm an evil bitch who likes stomping on delicate little fangirls' dreams.

On the other hand, I think you rather deserve to be lengthily critted if you've written a fic featuring a Sue named Angelof Water. Or maybe it's Water Angelof. Something laughably stupid, at any rate. This is not the Sailor Moon fandom and is not a natural home for anybody wandering round calling herself Mizu Tenshino.

You also rather deserve it if you write a fic set after the HONKIN' GREAT MILESTONE that is ther end of Gluhen and decide to ignore practically everything that happened in the course of that series, all the character development the regulars do, all the salient plot points - and then you compound the sin by having a prettiful, perfectful seventeen year old Sue with amnesia and dark secrets and embryonic speshul powers and a wangst past and a classy New York apartment show up at Aya's mailbox and save his life. Because she's lyke, so much cooler and nicer than everybody else and it wasn't like the ending was trying to make any kind of point. Of course.

And the author never heard of Weiss Side B.

And Omi's in it. And he's nice. I want ColossalBastard!Mamoru back!

And Ken's in it. And he's SANE. Because he's pretty, I suppose. Pretty people couldn't possibly be batshit crazy homicidal maniacs who are aware they have issues. And have guilt issues and self-control issues to the extent they would far rather be in prison where they know they'll be heavily supervised and can't do anything too stupid than they would be out in society.

Cut for length and MASSIVE CONCRIT )

... Hell, I have to think of something to do while I wait for my FarfKen fic to come back from the beta reader and work out how to deal with the acute sequelitis I caught off [ profile] cards_slash.

Once again, that took forever and I have a horrible feeling all it's going to net me is petulance and claims that I'm a complete bitch who couldn't write anything any better, zOMG. I got the impression from this one that she's going to be a little bit on the bratty side. I have no idea why when she doesn't have fangirl minions, but - I dunno. Perhaps it's because she's got Sues called 'Mizu' in other fanfics as well, making me suspect that Mizu is actually a self-insert, and that any criticism of the character is going to be taken as a personal affront.

Oh well. I suppose we'll see.
Current Music: love goes like... - kumi koda
Current Mood: meh