20 April 2008 @ 05:33 am
Well, I Got There In The End  
First, Do No Harm Part Three: Like Cures Like

Finally, the concluding part of my [ profile] weissday fic is posted, about a month after the veil of anonymity was lifted and we the participants were free to do whatever the Hell we wanted with our submissions: proudly post them to the Pit or our own homepages, discreetly 'lose' them, or bury them in a peat bog for three months and use them as firelighters. (Ten points to anyone who can tell me where that reference comes from.) From the amount of time it's taken me to get this up, you'd almost think I favored option #3...

Anyway, this is the last part of the fic, and I like to think it's a good ending. It took slightly more proofing than the rest of the fic did, but that doesn't surprise me since I wrote most of the last chapter in one sitting that lasted well into the small hours, finished it a few frantic hours before my extended deadline fell and then sent it straight off to [ profile] genkischuldich to be posted. There was no time even to give it a quick read-through...

Oh well, better late than never, it's had that read-through now (and the boredom that is proofreading work you posted ages ago is what held me up in the first place) and is now up on the Pit to be lost in a sea of bad slash and then largely forgotten about.
Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: don't cry - tokyo mew mew
05 April 2008 @ 11:28 pm
Yeah, I Really Hate Proofreading  
First, Do No Harm Part Two: Provings

I would have had this posted days ago if it hadn't been for the undeniable (one may even say incontestable) proof that copy-editing my own fanfic weeks after the fact is far, far less fun than plotting, world-building and RPing about catboys with [ profile] pichi, who is of course made of imaginative awesome.

As to why we're RPing about catboys, well, that's a secret. Not a good secret, mind, but still a secret.

ANYWAY. Fanfic update in which Aya goes to the doctor's and exposition happens. It's a bit of a slow second act, but if it wasn't for the scene-setting there would be no way I could have written a decent conclusion in Part Three, and Part Three is what we're all waiting for, I'm sure. (How fortunate I've already written it.) Besides, I'm only trying to fit in with the spirit of the show, in which Weiss spend a fair amount of time poking around and asking questions before they actually go out and do anything. They're smart boys that way, and know far better than to dive into danger totally unprepared.

I'll get round to proofing and posting Part Three over the next few days, if RP and shiny doesn't distract me. Hopefully it won't, but I know me and good intentions and, what with the fact that my computer is broke, I only get to proof at all when I'm online - and the problem with online is that there is just so much shiny to distract me...

Now I am going to go and make bagels before my brain shuts down from lack of carbohydrate both simple and complex.
Current Mood: feed me seymour
Current Music: cliches - shazna
30 March 2008 @ 11:18 pm
"On her, it looks good."  
First, Do No Harm Part One: The Repertory
It's not what the doctor tells you that matters, it's what they don't. On investigating a string of deaths at a holistic clinic, Weiss discover something far more sinister than dangerous drugs or botched treatments. Ongoing, contains cursing and violence.

This, for the three of you who didn't go to the community pages and didn't manage to guess already simply courtesy of my Huge and Obvious Length Issues, was my submission for the [ profile] weissday fic exchange.

... well, okay, this is more like the first part of it. The fic is a bit too long to post in one go, if only for the sake of anyone who might choose to sit down and read it, so I am taking [ profile] genkischuldich's advice and posting it in three parts of roughly equal length. The second and third parts will be posted early next week - hopefully on Monday and Tuesday, but that will to some extent depend on what I am doing, my internet connection, and my patience with proofreading which, I will admit, is not what one would call limitless.

Considering I only had a month to work on this, I'm pretty pleased with how it came out, though it is a pity I so narrowly squeaked the deadline that I didn't have a chance to proofread my work much before now. Oh well, better late than never...

Thanks to [ profile] genkischuldich for both organizing [ profile] weissday and for giving me my prompt, which was made of massive joy and love and was blissfully simple to work with. (I really hope she actually liked what I came up with.) I've also got to thank John for letting me bore him to death about this thing and actually helping me come up with the Plot Of Awesome which made this fic such a delight to write in the first place. To think all this sprung out of a discussion about the movie Jumper and overpowered Mary Sues who pay no attention to the canon consequences of what they might be able to do...

I'm quite massively grateful that my computer decided to die after the [ profile] weissday deadline...
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: i forgot to put my mp3s on
13 March 2008 @ 05:40 am
One month, 24 pages and 21,640 words later I have finally finished my [ profile] weissday prompt.

At half five in the morning.

... yeah, I told you guys I had length issues and if I did try and write something I would end up exceeding the minimum word count by a value of over nine thousand. But this appears to have mattered not as I HAVE FINISHED. RL tried to stop me, the prompt tried to stop me, my body tried to stop me by crashing three times. BUT I DID NOT CEASE. And I DID IT.


It helps that I had a really awesome prompt and a really awesome plot, so inspiration was about the only thing that was not a problem. Though I had off days, I never had 'why am I writing this?' days. It was just... an awesome awesome plot. I should write more stuff like this.

I would say more but I am really really really exhausted and have spent much of the last twelve hours staring at a computer screen trying to take words out of my brain and put them into a text document. 5,116 of the words in that fic were added to it in the last few hours which, for me, is an absolutely unbelievable amount to write in the space of a single day. Thus I am tired and I need to go to bed before the sun comes up.
Current Music: none, it's almost six am
Current Mood: triumphant
07 March 2008 @ 09:21 am
Why yes, I have been up all night.  
... and I'm sick again. Oy. That's, what, the third time since I signed up for [ profile] weissday?

Yeah. I've gone from food poisioning to a head cold to a stomach upset which left me spending at least half last night lying awake going OH MY GOD MY STOMACH. And being sick. And, um, surfing the Internet to take my mind off how thoroughly yecchy I was feeling, because it wasn't like I was actually getting anything much in the way of actual sleep.

(Which I still need quite badly.)

If it hadn't been for that I might actually have finished my prompt on time. But instead I was downstairs at six in the morning looking for the phone number for NHS Direct and hoping like crazy that whatever the hell had happened to my vision it was just going to be temporary. Cold sweats and near-blackouts in the smallest room? Now I know how Elvis must have felt when he was going, but at least I'm still here on the other side. That, though, was seriously worrying.

I had to call NHS Direct three times before one of the nurses actually got back to me. The first two times I got told to present at the ER(!) by one of the advisers; it was only on the third that I actually got to speak to someone with medical training. She told me to drink a lot of fluids and monitor myself for any signs of kidney failure just in case; thankfully for me, I have enough of a medical grounding to do this All By Myself. My back aches a little, admittedly, but that's usually a sign of Teh Sick for me and anyway, my kidneys have been making their presence felt numerous times during the night. As long as my eyes don't start going yellow that's good enough to get me by.

I now have a bottle of Evian to sip - well, okay, it's tap water in one of those awesome flip-cap squeezy bottles that say threatening things like 'for hygenic reasons this bottle is intended for the exclusive use of Evian water', as if that's really going to be enough to stop people using them as flasks - and a sore ass.

Gah. Just GAH. I only got over feeling achy a week ago. Now I have an all-new series of aches in different locations. WHAT JOY.

... and before that, I was actually doing quite well with my fic, too.

The moral of this sad, sad tale is that I am never eating tinned tomato soup again. That's what I was doing when the sicks started, and rightly or wrongly I'm choosing to blame all my woes on it. Well, it's either that or Ken Hidaka has a seriously vengeful Old-Testament God on his side and I'm an agnostic, so I'd rather believe in the tomato soup.
Current Mood: thirsty
Current Music: none
03 March 2008 @ 12:18 am
A Brief Message  
Okay, I have had a cold this past week and sundry other RL things have been happening to me to the utter detriment of my actually managing to work on my [ profile] weissday prompt. This is not good as I like my [ profile] weissday prompt and really want to finish it, because I feel rightly or otherwise that it's a really strong idea that I'm actually managing to do justice to.

The minute I realized I couldn't write with my cold I emailed [ profile] genkischuldich to let her know that I might need an extension. As of yet, she hasn't got back to me, so I'm going to have to operate on the assumption that for whatever reason I am not going to get one.

I don't want to abandon this prompt and turn in something halfassed.

Meaning that I have until the 7th of March to finish this fic to my satisfaction.

This is not going to be at all easy given how much ground I have left to cover and how slowly I usually write. To that end, I am going to be going into hermit-like seclusion for the next few days in a desperate attempt to get this wretched thing finished before the deadline. If you don't see me around before then, that's the reason for it: I've got to pretty much pretend that the internet and my all new Actual Social Life don't exist if I want to have any hope in hell of actually getting this bastard finished.

I've written 1,625 words this evening so far. I'm taking a bit of a break right now because I wanted to google 'Venice Beach' and my brain is demanding to know What is This Thing Called Activity and I feel like I need one, but I'm going to have to get back to work again soon. Please wish me luck, because I am going to need it.
Current Mood: okay, this was a dumb idea
Current Music: never gonna say i'm sorry - ace of base
13 February 2008 @ 01:52 am
Second Verse, Same As The First  
I should probably stop babbling about [ profile] weissday but I'm not totally sure I want to.

Okay, so yesterday John and I hatched the brilliant and random plan that hey, we could totally go to Brighton for no reason at all except that it wasn't London and we wanted to go somewhere interesting. (Okay, to be fair said plan was actually hatched Sunday night. But still.) It was awesome, though not the kind of thing I'd blog about as I kind of suspect you had to be there to know why it was so lovin' cool. We didn't do much but it was still very cool.

It appears to be becoming a running joke between us that I'm 'not like the other girls'.

(One thing I will say, though: John had never seen a proper sunset before yesterday. And he's 22! I guess he didn't have the same kind of vacations I did. The one we saw yesterday was pretty, but not up there with the best I saw, which was over the sea in Darkest Devon outside a regrettable pub. Awesome sunset, tho.)

Anyway, to get this entry back on track - he kind of saw me having my Wobbly Moment over my assignment on Monday, or at least the tail end of it after [ profile] genkischuldich pulled my ass out the fire and saved me from having to try and write something I knew I would fail hard at. I now have another prompt and it's ever so much better and something I am really looking forward to writing. Well, continuing writing.

I had an idea for a plot strand in the car on the way to Brighton and it all kind of spiraled from there.

I won't go into it in any detail as it would give my prompt away and that might not be politic. Suffice to say I came home with the my entire fic largely planned out thanks to John and his Plot Brain, and a quick conversation with [ profile] pichi to remove a couple of plot slips later, I was pretty much in business regarding the actual storyline. The only problem is that it is clearly going to be much longer than 1000 words and I am going to have to work my ass off if I want to get this done by March 7.

Which I do.

So I am, therefore, going to work my ass off.

I started work on the fic this evening at about half six. (It was going to be four, but I got owned by my tireds and had to take a quick nap. There is absolutely no point me trying to write anything when tired.) I've managed to get the opening written and have made a good start on the second scene, after a bit of a tussle with an opening paragraph that just didn't want to be anything other than clunky and horrible. I feel pretty good about this so far, I just hope I can keep this up.

To the surprise of precisely nobody who knows about my tendency to verbosity, I have already passed the lower word limit, and I still have the majority of the fic left to write...

Good luck to anyone else on my friendslist who's Doing This Crazy Thing!
Current Mood: hoping for the best
Current Music: ignoreland - r.e.m
08 February 2008 @ 12:19 pm
Oh Look, A Pointless Update.  
Okay. Having spent most of the last two nights tooling with CSS, I think this journal is pretty much looking the way I want it to right now.

Gah. Neeervous about the whole [ profile] weissday thing. So far it's proved counterproductive as far as getting me to write goes - I've been worried I might get into a groove for one of my WIPs and then have to abandon it while it's looking promising for [ profile] weissday, so I'm not really writing anything at all. Well, I managed a couple of RP posts and wrote a few lines of Abk├╝rzen but I'm not at all sure that actually counts. (Because it doesn't.)

Still, we should be getting the assignments within ther next couple of days. At least once I've got the prompt I can stop worrying about what I'm going to end up writing about. I hope I get something decent, but I'd settle for something that I could actually write.

Yeah, I'm kind of worried about screwing up.

I know fretting like this over a fic exchange is daft, but I'm doing it anyway.

Speaking of fic and my WIPs, I've got the weirdest idea that it might be a good idea to set up a community for Weiss ficcers with works in progress. I have no idea what would happen when you got there, but I was thinking maybe some kind of - timescale thing could be set up for people to work to as regards getting chapter drafts or one-shots out. I know some people out there like to work to a timescale - I certainly seem to work harder if I know that I have to finish something by X-Day or THE WORLD WILL PERISH - and maybe making the goals public would help.

Yeah, it is a very vague idea and I suspect it probably wouldn't work at all in practice. But it is nonetheless An Idea.

Unfortunately I know damn near nothing about running a community and suspect that one might take rather more active moderation than many. Still, it might be interesting to set it up anyway and see what happens.

Or maybe I just need to start using [ profile] reset_to_zero as a fic journal and try and post at least one piece or chapter part every month. That might be it. After all, not everyone is a spacy spaz who procrastinates for their country and habitually oversleeps. I guess I'll see what happens with The Dreaded [ profile] weissday. If it turns out that the deadline does help me, I'll just have to start imposing deadlines for other thinmgs as well. I need to get Seuche finished sometime before the Last Trump, after all.

... however, I am in no state to do it right now. I would go upstairs and try and write a bit before John comes round but I, predictably, am tired. I had a bad night and therapy was slightly more unsettling than usual, and what I really really need right now is not for the Muse to decend upon me, but marmite on toast and a couple of hours' sleep.

What does it say about me that I think It's So Easy is soothing music for my frazzled mind?
Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: it's so easy - guns n' roses
30 January 2008 @ 10:35 pm
Random Thoughts in the Key of Fic  
I think I'm going to have to start working on the Seuche edits before I carry on with the main plotline.

The reasoning behind this? Partly I feel like I really just should get the beginning sorted before I try and focus on where I'm going next. Partly because I've just realized that I want to refer (briefly) back to an event which didn't actually happen in the first draft - at least not in any major, noticeable way. I now want it to be major and noticeable and considered as such by the characters. I don't really feel I can move past the bit where I refer back to it before it's actually happened, and I suspect that's why I'm feeling so deeply stalled as regards the scene I'm writing. Nothing the matter with the scene itself, just that one-line reference to something that should have happened and hasn't.

Also, I really just hate the opening chapters. I disliked them in a vague kind of way for a while, but that was before I knew what the problem with them was. Now I actually know what the problem is, I don't like leaving it uncorrected.

I can, I suppose, at least give it a shot. If it doesn't work to unblock my authorly drain, it doesn't work.

... wow, what a pointless journal entry this was.

To try and make matters rather less pointless, have a matched pair of random drabbles (both exactly 100 words long, too!) I wrote an amazing ho-hum amount of time ago and then did absolutely nothing with because I felt they were far too ridiculously short to post anywhere other than the challenge community I did them for, which I then promptly left anyway.

The Camera Never Lies )

Well, that was pretty painless.

... see, it was supposed to be a pairing challenge, hence why I did Youji and Ken and nobody else. It's not just because I am a hopeless fangirl, really.

I get the feeling that I should probably do more of these, if only in an attempt to get my head round the concept of brevity, but I seem to remember them being pretty fun to do, too. I'm pretty sure I've got the prompt list for that community somewhere, maybe I'll try and do a couple whenever the mood strikes me and see what happens.

Also, I did sign up for [ profile] weissday after all. Wish me luck, I guess.
Current Music: blush response - vangelis
Current Mood: blank
27 January 2008 @ 11:53 pm
This Is A Really Bad Idea, Right?  
Should I sign up for [ profile] weissday or not?

It looks interesting.

There are some pretty good ficcers signed up for it as well, which interests me even as it intimidates me. Yeah, twenty-five years old and part of me still wants to go play with the cool kids.

Maybe a fic challenge would do me some good - writing to order and for a time limit might actually get me back into some kind of groove. I feel inspired to write at the moment, I'm just not doing anything with it, which is deeply stupid of me, but whatever I try to work on it feels like I should really be doing something else. At least having something that needed to be done by a certain date would get my ass in gear over something.

(And God knows I would quite like to put in a fic request and make somebody out there write me some awesome Ken fic. There can never be too much Ken fic.)

The problems, however, start, when I consider that I have never done a fic exchange in my life. And there are good reasons for my refusal to do one not least of which because I suspect that when it comes to fic challenges and fic exchanges, I suck. In fact I suspect I suck a lot. I'm stalled about halfway through a fic I started in response to a prompt on Ye Olde Weiss Kreuz Kink Meme. I still want to finish it, I just don't think any good will come of rushing it. I hate rushing things, it always makes me feel stupidly pressured.

I still feel like I did kind of a rush job on That Fic About The Japanese Christmas Cakes and Angst I finished last month. People seem to have liked it and it came out better than I thought and that was a fic challenge of a sort, it's just...

Well, it feels like a bad idea. Why so? Well...

Reasons I should probably NOT sign up for [ profile] weissday:

  • I am a quite stupidly slow writer. Yes, there are others who're worse, but I'm still pretty bad. Pretty bad to the extent that it took me the best part of a month to write four thousand words on Christmas and angst and even then I felt like I'd rushed it. Sometimes - sometimes - I manage to write faster than this, but I feel it'd be taking a risk.

  • Furthermore: I am verbose. I catch hold of an idea and I run away with it for several thousand words more than it should have done. Just Another Day was supposed to be short - three pages at the most. It finished up twice that. The premise for Paperclip is 'Youji and Ken have sex on a table'. It takes them ten pages to manage it. Seuche was meant to be about a hundred pages long. It's twice that and still not finished. That, combined with the fact that I am a slow writer, also makes me think that I would probably have real difficulty finishing up a fic in time for the deadline. It would get huge, and it would take me ages to finish.

  • I'm a Weiss ficcer and feel relatively comfortable in my ability to handle them as a team. However, there's a catch - I cannot write Aya as anything more than a supporting character. I just cannot do it. I don't feel like I have a decent enough handle on his character for that. He causes me no end of difficulty. I'm therefore very worried that, if I got a prompt which required me to write for him, I would completely and utterly fuck it up - and seeing how popular he is with the people who want Weiss fic, I don't honestly understand how I could avoid that.

  • I can't write for Schwarz except as supporting characters. I can't write Gluhen-era. I can't write the Side B characters because I don't know enough about them. I can't write consensual porn in less than six months. I fail at het and think Sakura is an utterly infuriating character. Add that to my 'sucks at Aya' problem and I would be able to fill perhaps one of the requests. Maybe. I simply don't feel I'm a versatile enough fanficcer to be able to put myself into a situation where I might have to write something so out of my comfort zone. I don't mind the thought of going outside my comfort zone per se, but that and a time limit?

  • I'm worried I'd find myself filling a request for someone awesome. I have no idea how in the world I could ever write something for, say, [ profile] vr2lbast and not collapse into a gibbering wreck over the impossibility of ever living up to her standards. Not that she'd expect me to do, I'm sure, but I would expect me to do it, and I would fail miserably.

  • Nobody who's so far signed up seems even remotely interested in recieving the kind of fic I consider myself capable of writing. I like all the wrong characters in all the wrong combinations, and I'm most comfortable writing about all the wrong subjects. In short, I suspect I am totally the wrong kind of fanficcer to sign up for something like this and not make a terrifying trainwreck of it all.

The weird thing is, I still kind of want to try it. I just have this horrible feeling I'd be setting myself up for EPIC FAIL.

So. Seeing as I'm very much stuck on the fence here - does anyone want to try and talk me into this anyway? Or, seeing as I do seem to suck quite a lot and don't much want everyone to be pissed off at me when I (inevitably, it seems) find myself with a prompt I can't do justice to and fail to finish in time, might it be better for me to just ignore it like I do that 'NaNo' thing everyone talks about around about November-ish?

What in the everliving shit have I done?

Doomed, I tell you. DOOMED.
Current Music: still alive - portal
Current Mood: contemplative