sevendials: (youji - angel of harlem)
laila ([personal profile] sevendials) wrote on April 19th, 2011 at 11:05 pm
Get A Life
I have been asked to get a life. Okay, that's nice, but how precisely do you go about doing this? I admit I've never been quite sure of the procedure, and my informant was rather unclear.

I mean, I've got a life. Hello. Hands up who else isn't dead. Here I am, sitting here and typing: presuming I'm not a very clever and curiously-programmed spambot, the very existance of this post points to that. I've got a life. If I didn't I wouldn't be here typing this but somewhere else entirely, and any suggestion (presumably made to my headstone or through the mediumship of a third party who'd mentioned they were getting a woman with glasses) that I get one would be both pointless and callous.

It can't refer to that. Obviously not - it's quite disingenuous of me to suggest so. So what do they mean when they say 'get a life'? Presumably not that you - the lifeless one - have been somehow rendered comatose or dead by your inability to, say, spend Saturday nights doing whatever it is it's considered socially acceptable to do on a Saturday night. It must be something more complex than that.

I presume it means working in marketing, and assuming that my intimate understanding of the Carruthers Report means I'm somehow indispensible. I presume it means discussing The X-Factor in a bored, above-it-all drawl, and yet somehow still posessing an encyclopedic knowledge of who's in and who's out, and who said what to who. I presume it means weighing myself religiously and getting nigh-suicidal when the needle edges perilously close to double figures. I presume it means girls' nights out and girls' nights in, dancing to music I didn't like when it first came out and still don't like now, and watching bad rom-coms while eating finger food from M&S. I presume it means reading Cosmopolitan, and not just because I want to laugh at it, and expecting my fiancé to take me to see movies like Made of Honor and 27 Dresses the getting upset when he seems bored. I presume it means learning how the blow-dryer works and cutting a photo of Kate Middleton out of a magazine and asking my hairdresser if she can make my hair do that, and taking fashion seriously.

I presume it means going shopping in Oxford Street, and wishing I had the money to buy a Gucci purse. I presume it means hunting for knockoffs or eBay bargains - or running perilously close to my credit limit buying the real thing anyway. I presume it means spending Sunday afternoons in Clapham being patronized by men called Nathan and Jeremy, who are happy to be seen with me but not to listen to what I have to say. I presume it means bars and clubs and stumbling in late with my ears ringing and indefinable gunk over the bottom of the shoes that left my feet bleeding.

I presume it means reading books and forgetting them and that my strongest opinion, after watching a film, would be about the leading man's smile.

Get a life, in short, is why aren't you more like your sister? in a more fashionable outfit.

And isn't life too short to waste it on worrying why you aren't?
 
( Read comments )
Post a comment in response:
From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.